Dec 10 2011 Sat -- Visiting Sujeet's Village

Dear Friends, I am sorry for the delay in publishing my blog.  Intermittent power, new adventures, travel, jet lag, and a touch of Traveler's D-- all have provided the appropriate delay.

Now home in Virginia, I continue to share my adventures with you.

Our first stop was at Sujeet's parent's house.  It was time for Jyoti's brothers to say good bye.

I am struck with the contrast between the very strong family ties, and how Indian families must let their children go again and again for a better way of life.  When they are around 5 years old they may leave for boarding school.  When they are around 10 or 12 they may do so again.  And when they are to go to highschool (inter) they will likely need to go away.  Typically American kids don't leave home until they turn 18 or go to college or into military service.  

 Vipah, Jyoti, Anuj, and Manish

Some of us drove into the town to drop off the older brothers so they could get a ride back to their family house. 

Going through town on way to village.

Sujeet's second level school

Entering into the farming villages.

Golden mustard crop

Sujeet's first level school.

A moslem school meeting in a former christian church and school.

The road into the farm villages where Sujeet's family lives.

Dung poles being dried for fuel.

Next we drove to Sujeet's grandfather's home and village to drop off a young mother and her baby.

Sujeet's grandfather's house. Foreground -- mounds of rice to be hulled. Background - banana trees and family garden.

The village turns out to see the white lady.

Village girls with Lovely standing tallest.  Lovely became my tour guide and interpreter once we reached the village.  This young lady has so much potential. 

Some of my new friends in the village... Past and Future stand side by side.

Suman's childhood friends (Suman on Right)

The villages hold Bihar's hidden treasure -- a people yet untouched,  like uncut diamonds... waiting to be discovered... to be refined into precious jewels for their society.

I look over the future of Bihar and wonder which of these little ones will be tomorrow's leaders.

As I look at these faces, and they chatter happily in Mathilee,

I hear God's voice say,

"I see you. I know where you are.  I was there when you were born. I know your ways and the number of your days.  I love you with an undying love. 

I have written you on my heart and you are precious in my sight."



Dec 9 2011 11 PM Bihari Time -- An Evening with the Bride and Groom

The family came to the hotel and picked me up.  It has really turned colder, in the 40's F this evening.  Since the homes are open to the air, they were all concerned that I should stay warm.  I was wearing multiple layers, a sweat outfit, and my heavy jacket sweater.  I was fine.

I chatted with Krishna, Sujeet's dad for a while.  He explained the school system to me and how 90% of the children go to public schools and perhaps 10% go to private schools, and why India uses 220 volts instead of 110.

After a bit, a tractor (of some type of  heavy farm equipment) pulled up with a trailer on the back full of furniture and gifts for the young couple. 

I noticed at the same time a rolled up bed mat (like the ones used in the hotel) was brought in and carried up the stairs.

I was reminded of the Bible story where Jesus healed the crippled man, then told him to take up his mat and follow Jesus.

Then the ladies gathered in the parking area of the house and began to sing and bring offerings to their gods.  The bridal car had arrived.  Sujeet and Jyoti began getting  out of the car very slowly. 

 Jyoti's face was covered.  She clung to Sujeet and followed behind him as they went through another ceremony.  Sujeet would walk forward very slowly, stepping into a shallow basket.  Jyoti would step with him into the same basket.  Once they were both in the basket, then another basket was placed ahead of them (like a stepping stone) by one of the ladies, so they could step into that one next.    When the couple stepped out of one basket to step into the next, the former basket was placed before them on the ground for their next step.  That continued until they entered the house.

Sujeet was annointed before walking into the house, having finished the basket ritual.  Jyoti, with her head still covered, continues to cling to him.

Sujeet is receiving an annointing for blessing from a family memeber.

Candles were lit one at a time (perhaps 4 ?), waved around Sujeet's head, then placed in the clay pot.  After all the candles had been lit, then the lady waved the clay pot around Sujeet's head.

Finally the couple stepped into the entry porch of the house, and were ushered in by many ladies in saris.

The couple was taken to Mona and Krishna's bedroom which was set up for the festivities with these murals made by Swati.  The couple sat on a mat before this wall with pots and baskets of offerings to the gods before them on the floor.

Some of the items on this tray were for offerings, blessings, and some were for eating.

After some rituals were performed, Sujeet's maternal grandmother sat on the floor with the couple, Sujeet moved in front of her (almost like sitting in her lap), and Jyoti sat in front of Sujeet.  A lady placed the clothe below over the 3 of them.  Then different ladies came forth and spoke and took small handfuls of grain, waved it over the blanket where Jyoti then Sujeet 's heads were, then sprinkled them with the grain.  After some time of rituals, the blanket was removed and the grandma got up.

Jyoti -- Sujeet -- Sujeet's Grandmother under the cover.

The grain blessing/ offering being performed by a family member.

Grandmother speaking after being under the blanket with the young couple.

Sujeet's neck clothe was then extended across Jyoti.

The ladies sang for joy and for worship to their gods as the blanket ritual was ended.   In the center is Mona, Sujeet's mother.

Next all of the ladies were annointed with oil scented with jasmine.

When all the joint rituals were over, Sujeet was released to freshen up.  Jyoti stayed alone on the floor mat.  Sujeet's female family members each in turn sat with her and spoke to her, adjusted her head covering, put their arms around her and hugged her, and showed other such forms of welcoming into the family.

We shared some sweet hand made pastry together (tasted like a donut).  Some of the sweets had sticky sugar syrup on them.  The different ladies would wipe Jyoti's fingers over the sweet syrup, then lick off her fingers.  Everyone would laugh and seemed very joyful.

At one point Swati reached under Jyoti's head covering and untied a red triangle shaped purse from around her waste.  She and another family member emptied the purse of its gifts and laughed and teased about the money in the purse.

Removing the money gifts from the bride's purse.

Swati brought in a white handbag for Jyoti and removed little jewelry boxes with gift items that they presented to Jyoti. (necklaces, earrings, and such)

When all the ladies in Sujeet's family were done welcoming her, I sat on the mat with Jyoti and chatted with her briefly.  She was completing her traditional rituals tonight.  She had fasted for 4 days performing many rituals, slept little, and was now sitting on a very cold floor.  I think this little bride was happy that the ritual wedding traditions were coming to a close!

I know Sujeet was!  Look at that tired but happy face!

Now the couple will stay at Sujeet's family's house. 

On Monday, Dec 12, Sujeet's family is throwing a big reception for the couple at the hotel.  This will bring the official celebrations to a close.

Dec 9 2011 The Bride and Groom Come to the Groom's House

Today is the big day that everyone is preparing for:  Sujeet and Jyoti coming to Sujeet's parents' home.

I was very tired yesterday and did not get my blog posted until today.  Sujeet called to check on me.  I confessed I was a little bored.  The next thing I know Mona and Sanjiv (gentlemen who speaks English and rents from Mona and Krishna) show up at my room to check in on me.  It was a lovely gesture.  As they told me they would be back later to pick me up, I realized that they would have taken me then if I had desired it.  I am still rather sleepy and needed to do some things on the computer, so I am good.  That little visit brightened my day.  Now, I await for the big event.

Sujeet mentioned he has hardly seen Jyoti and remains in the wedding dress from the 5th.  I said something about being sorry he wasn't having fun... "that's your culture.  I am fine."  I guess it is true that Americans are really focused on having a good time, and that is not the way of other cultures. 

I am surprised that Sujeet is still allowed very little contact with his new wife.  I guess that is how anticipation is built up for the bride in an arranged marriage.

More later...

Dec 8 2011 The Gift of Literacy for Bihar

Dear Friends,

It had been my hope that when I visited Bihar, that there would be something good that could come of my trip in addition to the great honor of being at my friend Sujeet's marriage.  Perhaps what I learned about today will lead to that blessing.

Sujeet told me that his region needs additional medical care.  His brother Suman mentioned he believes that immunizations are needed for the children.  How could we bring about a medical missions trip that could begin the medical care needed?

Every significant effort requires partnership.  I asked about a local church or aid organization, but there was none to be found.  However, Suman found a school for me, right down the road from the Vijay Food Plaza.  We wondered if they might be the ones who could help make this happen.  It is the Kerala Public School.  It is run by Indians from Southern India where the literacy rate is close to 100%.  They have come to Bihar to teach the children with the hopes of raising the literacy rate in Bihar, where currently it is only about 39%.

Shaju and  his wife Bindu and their small staff teach about 150 children, with about 50 of the students actually living at the school. 

students

dormitory

Besides reading, writing, science, mathematics and social studies, the children are taught English and must speak it all the while they are in school.  This was a help to me as I could communicate... although I still needed Suman to assist me from time to time.  The school people have a great love and committment to the Bihari people and especially the children of Bihar. 

The good news is Shaju has other contacts in Bihar and Sourthern India that would be likely to assist in putting together a medical missions / clinic event, managing the local arrangements, if I could put together a team that would be willing to come and provide free medical care in the context of a short term mission trip.

I think the first step would be a small team, maybe 3 or 4, doing a small event, like maybe an immunization clinic.

I think we would benefit from having the following partnerships in place:
1. local authrorities so they know what we are doing and can support our efforts
2. local medical contact to assist us in knowing expectations, and provide follow up care if needed
3. a local host that can be our interface with the community and be able to get the word out to the people about the services being provided (Kerala school?)

So now we will have to see what God brings next.

Please pray about this and contact me if you have something to assist this effort or want to go and serve, or if you want to contribute something to the school.

We will need medical supplies, immunizations, funding assistance for the school (already in need), funding for onsite set up and take down/ clean up, and I don't even know what all else yet.

Pretty cool huh?  The only good place for westerners to stay (Mona Hotel) and the ideal partner for a medical missions trip, all in less than a mile -- and a woman from the US with a call to ministry visits both.

Thank you Suman, and family!

Thank you God!

Dec 8 2011 The Vijay Food Plaza

Today was a quiet one.  Sujeet's family was busy with the preparations for the couple's arrival at their home on Dec 9. 

The local police had contacted Krishna, Sujeet's father about me.  Suman had to bring a hand written letter from me explaining why I was visiting them and how long I would be there, along with my passport and visa.  After a return trip with more info, the police were finally happy and gave me an approval letter, granting me stay until the 13th, as planned, at which time I must return the approval letter to them.  Suman and I were amused that based on the number of my approval letter, I am the first/ only foreignor to visit Bihar in 2011.

Since I did not have electric for part of the day I thought I would capture the sites of the hotel and share some info about life here. 

I am reluctant to walk about much past the hotel as it is very crowded and I do not know the language or customs and the road is very busy.  The dirt roads are mostly dust and are uneven, making it a challenge to walk on.  So I contented myself with the little microcosm of Indian life here at Hotel Mona.

Let me take you on a tour of Mona Hotel and Vijay's Food Plaza.  The restaraunt at the hotel is named for Sujeet's uncle on his mother's side, Vijay, an important man in the community.  The hotel is named for Sujeet's mom, Mona, who has helped to create this new business and she runs it.  The hotel is recently built, and is still partly under construction.  However the restaruant stays faily busy, and there are lodgers and occasional special events held here.

The Vijay Food Plaza serves Indian food and different combinations of fried rices.

Mona Hotel is the one of the tallest and newest buildings I have seen here.  It is on a very busy paved road (higway).

Below is the road outside the hotel.  I was able to slip out during the middle of the day when there was a quiet moment, so as not to cause any traffic issues! :-)

Notice the rickshaws parked near the hotel.

Mona Hotel is mostly used by Indian business travelers and by families for weddings and receptions.

The above wedding gate is left over from a recent wedding at the hotel.

This is the hotel registration and restaurant area.

And the dining room of  Vijay Food Plaza:

This lady surprised me.  She was quite eager to have her picture taken.  This is the butler's pantry for the kitchen.

This appears to be the guests' wash up area.  Local people eat mostly with their fingers and an occassional table spoon.  The genteel expectation is that the guest will wash up before and after a meal.

Above is the kitchen where the chef prepares the cullinary delights.

Here is the chef and the "shy" lady again. :-)  standing in the kitchen.

 The chef makes tasty dishes for me, decoratively arranged.  He even found a fork for me.  Normally Indian people eat with their hands and with a large spoon, so a fork is just an oddity provided for westerners... all one of us.

The above is one of the loveliest of meals.  The rice dish on the left contains 2 pieces of curried chicken hidden away in the fried rice with cashew nuts and white raisins.  The dish on the right had potatoe, cauliflower, and other veggies in a curry sauce with coconut on top, and surrounded by fresh tomatoes.  I did accidentally eat one (Americans are NOT supposed to eat anything fresh or drink the water), but I feel fine, so no harm done.

Room Service!

This is the front desk where you check in or place your food order.

Stair way lighting

The spacious hall to the rooms.  Note the drapes that were placed on windows and doors for the wedding festivities.

Below is my room with shutters over the barred windows.

Notice the bed construction:  a 4 inch thick mattress stuffed with cotton -- extremely firm, set on a pallet, almost like a table.  Here at the hotel they are used in the bedrooms.  I have observed in the homes that they serve as couches by day, and everyone will gather together and sit "Indian style" on them.  At night the family will sleep on them.. I suspect a number of people sleep together on them.

This is the Experis office in Ararai, Bihar, India

This is the handpainted door to my own private WONDERFUL western bathroom.  The locals use a potty that is an open hole in the floor, and stand over or squat over.  Considering I am having some issues with my legs, I have not tried the local potty... have no desire to trip up! :-)

To the right is the shower area.  My lovely sole is hanging there.  Above it is an open window.  I am trying to air it out after the smoky wedding obervances.

In the back is the porcelin throne complete with personal sprayer, sort of like a hand held bidet.  Indian people prefer this with the western toilet, to toilet paper.  I came equipped with paper, however, having been down this road in other countries.  Sujeet had also made arrangements for some paper in the bathroom.

The bedrooms are on the second floor (called first floor in the hotel).  A balcony surrounds the 2nd floor and allows for a look around.

This is the maid.  She sweeps my room each day, and washes the floor with something that smells like insecticide.  Sometimes she uses a grass broom.  Somtimes she uses a bundle of straw like the straw I saw being collected in the fields.

When the maid saw I was taking her picture, she wanted to pose properly.

It amazes me how well the ladies can do physical labor wearing their saris.

So now, my friends, you have an idea of life at Mona Hotel.