Dec 7 2011 -- Family by Friendship

We often say we are related by marriage or by blood.  But love and friendship can also make us a part of a family.  I think of it as our "emotional" family.  This idea has been very active in my new bonds of friendship with Sujeet's family.  I have had no contact with him since his marriage, but his brother Suman has watched over me as if I were his own mother, and Sujeet's mother, Mona has watched over me as one of her children.   All the ladies and men are very protective and solicitous of me.  This is very helpful as the travel has aggrivated my nerves and I am often having troubles controling my legs. 

Not only am I well cared for in this foreign land, but treated with great honor, as well.  They continually tell me how happy they are that I have come from America to be with them.  I have never felt so appreciated!  I am showered with affection.  I am everyone's sister, and because of being an American and Sujeet's manager, I am often granted audience and companionship with the men as well as the ladies.  I really like that as I am intrigued by the culture and this way I can observe the men directly as well as the woman.  Pretty cool!

I did not see my Indian friends until the evening, which allowed me to catch up on some things in my room and get some extra rest.  I am not acclimated to any time zone at the moment, so do not sleep at normal times for home or India.

Suman told me about the events of the day. It seems that today was the day for the young people to go to the bride's house and hang out with her and Sujeet and her family.  The kids spent a good part of the day playing games together... cherades being the game of choice. (They call it "dumb sherids" though they spell it the same way Americans do.)  They also played "Spin the Bottle" but it is really "Truth or Dare" with a bottle serving as the spinner.

Suman ordered a rickshaw for me to ride in as I was uncomfortable with riding behind him on a motorcycle without a helmet on these rough, over crowded streets.  That was REALLY fun!  You go fast enough to enjoy the ride, but slow enough to see the sites in the dark. 

Nights here are VERY dark.  Typically each room has one light (one of those neon white coiled glass bulbs that are supposed to be energy savers).  There are few outside lights.  It is very different to have so many people around you going about their business in the dark.  The little shop stands have very small lights, yet they do business from 8 AM to 10 PM.

When we arrived at Sujeet's parents' home, a delegation of ladies came out of the house with their heads covered and wearing their saris and singing. In the center of the group was Swati, Sujeet’s sister, and another lady in special lime green saris, carrying bright colored pots on their heads, with green leaves in them .  Other ladies carried a couple of little lanterns and bowls of fruits, rice, and something orange.  We all walked to together in the dark and Neena and Dheeraj (“deerij”)  (young adult children of Sujeet’s uncle)  took my arms and hands and made sure I navigated the uneven street successfully in the dark.  A lantern was provided to light my way as well.

We walked up to a dark low white building with a large porch and steeple-like protrusion on the top.  It is a neighborhood Hindu temple.  It was completely unlit, but the people had brought their own light.  Swati and her helper pulled off the well cover. 

The temple and well looked like something right out of a Bible story… like the story of the betrothal of Isaac’s wife, Rebecca.  She was chosen by Isaac’s father’s servant to be Isaac’s wife, based on God’s leading.  She proved herself worthy by drawing water not just for her own flock, but also for the visiting stranger (the servant).  He gave her a bangle as a gift.  Then they went back to meet Rebecca’s family and make the wedding arrangements.  It was an arranged marriage, and Isaac loved Rebecca greatly.

Another lady had brought a small pale the size of a bathroom trash basket and let it down into the well.  She pulled it up, as one of the ladies explained to me that Sujeet and his bride must bathe in the local water on the 4^th day (or perhaps for 4 days?).

Swati and the other lady in the lime green and gold sari kneeled down next to the well and laid out their sacrifices – green leaves placed in a line, with food placed on them (rice and fruit and the orange stuff).  Jasmine incense was lit and the sticks were placed near the food, held in place by the banana skin from the sacrifice.  The ladies chattered and laughed gaily as they did the preparations.  They smeared some of the rice on the wall of the well closest to the offerings.  I am amazed at how much ritual is enacted in these people’s lives.  The gods are honored continually in some way by them.

Once the preparations were completed, a special golden sari was produced by one of the ladies.  It was placed over the now empty jars that Swati and her helper were carrying back to the house on their heads.

When I returned to the house, I chatted with the family that was there.  Mona brought out my sari to explain through Suman what would be done.  I had brought a sari with me from Richmond that had been given to me some years earlier by my dear friends Anil and Sri.  I had never had the top made up.  Mona had taken my measurements to the tailor and had a lovely top created for me.  She also put a reinforcement in the hem to protect the fabric and help it fall properly and created an under garment for it.  On the 9^th when Sujeet and Jyoti spend some time at his family’s house, they want me to wear the sari.  Swati will come and help me dress.  I will certainly get a picture of that!

I was just telling Suman that I was now open to riding with him on his motor cycle since I had seen what we will be riding through, when Mona brought a lady to me whose husband had a car and would drive me back to the hotel.  He and I had a lovely conversation about my trip here and the differences in India and Africa, based on my tiny experience in both places.  The people like to practice their English with me, and I am glad to finally have someone to talk to.  Pretty much the rest of my communications are limited to gestures.

The power has been off 3 times during this writing… but the generator is working hard now, so I should be able to post this tonight.

I regret I don’t have pictures from the evening sacrifice, but my camera was not working right.  Tomorrow will be better.

In the meantime, blessings to you from India!  Namaste!