Dec 6 2011 Reflection on Sujeet and Jyoti's Wedding

I have slept most of the day, having been up all night with the wedding festivities, yesterday.  Everything is so different that I find it difficult to take it all in.

I am continually reminded of spiritual lessons and Bible stories throughout this trip.  The way of Northern India seems to be culturally similar in many respects to the Israel of Bible times.

I will share with you my reflections of this most auspicious day.

There was a knock at my hotel room door in the late afternoon.  Upon opening it, I was greeted by the smiling face of Swati, Sujeet's sister.  She was attended by an entourage of lovely young India ladies, many already dressed in their wedding finery.  Swati had brought my wedding clothes, a golden satin selvar with emerald green satin harem pants, and a very long emerald green scarf, trimmed with burgundy and gold brocade ribbon.  It was gorgeous.  I hurriedly changed and went with my hostess to the family home.  Sujeet had insisted I attend his wedding wearing appropriate Indian garb.  I was surprised at the time, but thought it a great adventure.  Now I realize how important it is in Eastern culture to dress appropriately, because it is a sign of respect.

I am reminded of the story Jesus told about the wealthy man who gave a great banquet.  Everyone came wearing their festive robes, but one man.  He wore his work clothes.  The wealthy man was so insulted that the guest had made no effort to dress for the banquet, that he had the guest thrown out of the hall.  Jesus said that it is like that with how we live our lives and our expectations of heaven.  If we will not put any effort or preparation into our relationship with God, how can we expect to be welcomed into His great banquet of heaven?

Note-- Swati is the lady in pink and black, and though tiny in stature, like her mother, is a truly great woman and family leader.

Upon arriving at the house I was attended by my little buddy Anshu, who we have to thank for taking most of the pictures.  He has served as translator, companion, host and photographer.  I really think he has a future in photography... though I expect he has many talents.

Out front of the house was a van decorated with flowers.  This is the car that carries the groom to his bride.

Swati was assigned to be my hostess and guide throughout the wedding festivities.

Sujeet was dressed a number of times throughout the evening in various special dress.  He wore special dress at his mom's house for the rituals there, and to visit the Hindu temples between his parents' home and the ancestral home of his bride.

Once we have arrived at the driveway of the bride's family home, the DJ truck moves ahead of us and plays joyful Indian music loudly punctuated by a laser light show.  The men from both families dance enthusiasticly behind the DJ truck. 

I got to see all of this up close, as I was given the great honor of being the special guest of honor for the evening, and got to sit by Sujeet on the way to the wedding in the groom's car.  I also was given many other honors as well throughout the evening, which I will tell you about shortly.  This was all very amazing to me because Sujeet was having a traditional Brahmin/ Matili wedding, in which typically only the male family members go to the bride's home.  But because I was the special guest, I got to go with Swati and some of the young ladies whose parents permitted them to join us.

The approach to the brides home could only be likened to a light show at an amusement park in America.  It was absolutely amazing.  The drive up to the house, and the path way to the festive tents were lined with large light pictures with moving figures, like a kangaroo moving its head.  There were sparklers suspended on posts and hung from wires creating sparkling waterfalls and sparkling flowers.  There was a juggler who juggled spinning plates of sparklers on a pole high above his head, that through down such a shower of sparkles that the wave of them flowed over the dancers.  While at the same time fireworks were being shot out overhead.  Trees were wound with lights and strings of lights adorned gardens and were strung in the sky to accent the entrances to the festive tents.

When we got to the house, there was a huge light show gate.

We entered the first tent, and Sujeet and his various honored family members sat upon the platform arranged for this purpose.  I was one of the first called up! 

There were 2 thrones set up in the middle of the platform.  Sujeet sat in the left throne. 

The brides family sat on the right of the tent and the groom's family sat on the leftt.   

After a time of honoring Sujeet's different family members, the women of Sujeet's entourage were invited to meet the bride. We went into her room where primping and photograpy were the order of the day.  I was fascinated by Jyoti's henna covered hands.

Then Jyoti and all her ladies and our female entourage went out to the festive tent so Jyoti could sit on the other throne.  Her special family members were honored for a time, as well.  It was fun to watch the young couple try to steal their first glances at each other... but Jyoti's head covering prevented them from success.

 Next we were taken to a banquet tent were a feast was served.  There was breaded fish freshly caught on the property, 7 types of sweets, and lots of yummy vegetarian stuff of what I don't know.  :-)

Then the time of the ceremony began -- around 9 PM, and went to about 4:00AM the next day.  Throughout it Sujeet had many many rituals to perform and promises to make, guided by the priests.

Often Sujeet's face was covered by the strings of gold from his crown, other times he was allowed to see.  In the first part of the evening Sujeet was alone with the priests.  The second part of the evening/ morning Jyoti was brought in and the rituals were joint rituals.  Sujeet was assisted by his sister Swati and Jyoti was assisted by her cousin.

Two of the rituals I found particularly interesting:

In one case a thread is used to tie a piece of each of Sujeet's and Jyoti's robes together.  Then they walk around the fire, a prescribed number of times, sometimes Jyoti leading and Sujeet following, and sometimes Sujeet leading and Jyoti following.  Suman told me that it symbolizes that when they go through life together and Sujeet will face difficulty, sometimes Jyoti will face it first, sometimes Sujeet will face it first.  (But they go through life TOGETHER.)

In the other ritual that caught my attention, Jyoti's brother comes and stands behind Jyoti, and Sujeet takes his place in front of her.  Sujeet covers Jyoti 's seated form with a blanket.  Then the brother uncovers her.  Sujeet recovers her.  The brother uncovers her.  This is repeated a prescribed number of times.  It looked to me like Jyoti's family was challenging Sujeet's marriage vow, and Sujeet had to proove himself worthy by continuing to assert his pledge to take care of her.

After hours of smoke and cold and rituals, it is time for the final ritual to occur.  Sujeet rubs vermillion on Jyoti's head, into the part of her hair.  This ritual is repeated by her cousin-sister assistant, until her part is very red.  That signals they are man and wife.

  Now begins 2 days of ritual and fellowship as the couple stays with Jyoti's family, followed by a day with Sujeet's family.folowed by some other events for the couple  (I don't know what).. then at some point a big party will be held at Hotel Mona.

Well.. time to go to sleep.  I must live in the Indian time zone at least a few days while I am here!  It is supper time in VA and sunrise in India.

"Happy Life Together, Jyoti and Sujeet!"